The Internet: A World Full of Nervous Laughter

When involved in an awkward conversation on the internet the most common reply used to avoid awkward silence is LOL. Which means that this laughing out loud has turned into nothing more than a chuckle and cough.



LOL.

Soon to be Balls Deep in Freedom and Liberty

I will be out of town for about two weeks which means no posts from me for a little while (not that I've posted in a few days anyway). During this vacation I will be involved in several activities, mostly drinking and sex, but I will also be working on my notes for another post. This future post will be a bit of an exploratory musing on the American usage of the words freedom and liberty (maybe usage is too mild a word, I mean raping).

Because chewing takes too long

A couple of interesting articles from the American: one against cash incentives for schooling, and another in favour of abolishing the SATs. I agree with the main points of these articles: you can't fix disparity by conditioning behaviour termed "proper", and you can't identify the diamonds among those rough and ornery underprivileged by judging both privileged and underprivileged by the same standard...not without underscoring a sense of entitlement among the rich.

But I also think that something about the tone in each article was off, (though I blame the articles less than the debate they engage in, especially in the case of the first article). They were presenting valid arguments against ineffective programs, programs meant to help the "underprivileged"...but in doing so they did not take the time to define what needed fixing and why. I was left with the sense that both articles masked sentiment that was (perhaps unconsciously) trite, that "we have a duty to help these poor, wayward, limited, (dirty) individuals...but alas no method is working".

It is as the writers (falsely) believe a great burden is weighing upon them, a great struggle that must be engaged in despite knowledge from the start that it was doomed to failure, because (they falsely believe) the children of the privileged are (genetically) better off, and everyone else is catching up. (e.g., from the second article: "The children of the well educated and affluent get most of the top scores because they constitute most of the smartest kids. They are smart because their parents are smart. The parents have passed their smartness along through parenting practices that are largely independent of education and affluence, and through genes that are completely independent of them.")

This is self-absorption masked as charity.

The debate needs to be rephrased, away from an under-defined "moral obligation" toward the poor, and toward a sense of mutual advantage to be gained from the promotion of functional, semi-autonomous sub-systems within a single nation. In other words, don't feel as though the promotion of the underprivileged is necessary because we must return to that innocent (mythical) state of equality to which we were born. Instead, realize that independent communities exist within America, that problems within one community (crime, unemployment, illness) affect everyone, and that it is in everyone's self-interest to resolve them.

My solution? Teleportation.

Let's get back to inconvenience

You want to move America to the left. You want to do something to engage an actual physical person with a negative result of conservative policies.

But conservatives have every drug addicted hobo on their side: they are abstractions, projections of what we could become, of what we can avoid becoming through obsessive engagement in day to day affairs, absorbing the creative output of others.

Let's rebuild the hobos, take them from the future to the present, where all that's keeping them from success is a lack of compassion. Speak to them when you walk by.

Oh, the Children.

The young ones stole the headlines over the past week with underage suicide bombing, high-speed texting, getting checks cut from the Catholic church, stunt riding on the hood of car, and being the subject matter of sexy Spanish photos. Now, age is an interesting factor in determining one's individual ability to function within the whole of human society: eg. There are those adults who say "But, oh, they're so young," others who espouse "That child knew what he was doing," and also the ever wistful "They grow up so fast, don't they?" One of the difficulties, I would argue, in determining how much responsibility should be placed upon kids comes from, what I would consider, the real and imagined effects of age on mental acuity.
This idea is not ground breaking, and this is not what will be discussed.
Let me start by saying: I have nothing against children as a specific group of people; everyone of us was a child at one point. I do, on the other hand, tend to view children the same way I view all other people; Most kids, just like adults, I find to be fairly obnoxious. This does not alter the fact that I believe they should -again, just like adults- be treated with the compassion that all humans deserve. I would like to believe most people can agree with that statement to some extent.
Now, after all that retarded exposition I can get to the very short point I was going to make. If you were going to find how compassionate people can be towards children, look to the Middle East. -Wait, he didn't just say that did he?- Oh, I fucking did. President Hamid Karzai pardoned a 14 year old would be suicide bomber. The president realizing the boy had been taken under a malicious wing pardoned the kid and wished him "a good life." Incredible. I can remember a few years ago there was a fifteen year-old boy in Florida who was given life in prison for accidentally killing one of his friends while the two of them were practicing wrestling moves they saw on TV. At this time I will withhold my opinion on the Floridian event and leave it up to you the reader.
This does not excuse the Middle East or any other region of the world from other crimes committed against children, I'm just pointing out that while the western world was taking naked photos of kids, placing them on the hood of a car, or leaving them in the hands of dodgey religious figures. Those oh-so-hated Middle Easterners were showing some compassion. Or if you're a cynical fuck such as myself they were just getting some much needed good publicity.

Positioning Inequality

There seems to be some debate going on between a couple of bloggers, one a supporter of greater economic parity, one an opponent of excessive concern with income. It’s like watching an episode of a long-running soap opera, except the sexy twin brother stranded in nicaragua is a million (wannabe) hobos.

Eight Things I Don't Even Care About

All I can say is that I'm terribly sorry I have to do this.

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Shit, I'm not sure I can think of anything worth committing to an electric page. Fuck it, here goes something (something probably uninteresting).

1) I was born clinically deceased. I was quickly resuscitated, obviously.

2) I think Legos are about the greatest thing ever fucking invented.

3) A year ago I visited England for about a month and I have to say the Scottish are about the friendliest people I've met. Though, I've had many disagree with me. But, they're bastards.

4) I do not own a television. I don't take pride in this it's just a random fact.

5) This is a lot more difficult than I would have imagined. (This one counts, right?)

6) The funniest person in the world, according to myself, was Bill Hicks.

7) I am and always have been an interminable jackass.

8) I am fairly certain compassion is the foremost virtue humans can bestow upon others.

Ok, now that's done and I can send this virus (thank you Tantalus Prime) to eight others.

Gadgetholic

TAN

Heliotropic

Corpus Mmothra

Dr. McNinja

Global Guerrilas

Hobotopia

Hole in the Head