-I know, I know, you heartless bastards all laughed, when you read the headline 70 Year Old First Grader, well fuck you. Now, I know what you're thinking: You laughed too! And, that's true so: fuck me too.
-Well, if you're like me you'll be happy to know that internet porn will soon be taken to new heights.
-And lastly, this is a bizarre piece of news the article claims that the hawk was being protective; I say the hawk thought she didn't like the red sox enough.
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