What They Need is a Doomsday Beef Vault

Norway, a country that I have heard nothing but decent things about aside from it's "cold," has begun a project to create a vault on a remote arctic island that will hold up to 4.5 million types of seeds. Noble. The theory is: in cases of severe famine, war, or if we just really fuck something up, we will have a bank of seeds to get the vegetation that we rely so heavily upon up and running again. This is why it has been dubbed the "Doomsday Vault"
It should be noted that there is a similar vault in Sussex, England. But, the English seed bank deals more specifically with wild plants, while the Norwegian seed bank will deal mostly with crops.
The troubling thing, and I understand how patriotically arrogant this sounds, but, no where did I see the US involved in this. What great PR it would have been for our country, and we could use some good PR (who couldn't). Then it hit me. We're Americans, and we are god-dammed meat eaters. If this was a beef vault (I'm not entirely sure how that would pan out) we would be climbing over one another to get in on that sweet deal. "Guaranteeing that future generations of little boys and girls get to eat hamburgers, well shit, count me in."
Now, I have not one damn problem with meat. I like meat. A lot. But, I am definitely one who reaches for some asparagus, or broccoli, or those little cherry tomatoes that they put on fancy salads(delicious).
Therefore on behalf of my great nation I would like to say: "THANK YOU NORWAY!!!! for securing the availability of crops for generations to come!"

The costs of disengagement

Perhaps, on a grand scale, (whatever that means), in many ways this election is not especially meaningful, but cynicism is to be resisted if only to avoid the the bizarre whims of leaders left too comfortable. Without rational engagement, arbitrary passion is the necessary defense against tyranny, leading us to a philosophy which trusts only in the esoteric.

Electronic Graffiti Update

Proof

State of the World

Luddites rejoice:
Someone is killing the internet.

An example of Americans' understanding of logical argument:
Obama = Che = Terrorist = Kevin Bacon.

Return of spiritual governance:
The Archbishop of Canterbury is promoting Sharia law. If anyone can make an easy return to dual jurisdiction, it's the English...(when will de haeretico comburendo be cited as precedent?)

Oh, and it's time to start rebuilding those bunkers:
Nuclear technicians are missing in Pakistan.

Electronic Graffiti

I am interested in the development of electromagnetic railguns and the devolution of catblogging, (especially if the latter is a market test for mortuary-based reality shows).

Today I've decided on garbage. The images are beautiful, the metaphor sells, and the environmental implications are more intuitive than a bureaucrat's cow fart, hazardous enough that the desire for recycling has become identified with the artistic, (the marketable).

True sculpture, life lent restoration.

Future Outlook

Jawbones created in the stomach of man. Hobos will soon be birthing the bone structures of all would-be movie stars.

We must now choose whether to raise our children by numbers or by words. The ability to broadcast images will eventually make language obsolete, so we may as well train people to internalize the outside world in uniform abstractions.

With population skyrocketing, the solution is obvious: remote control sperm, the "switchable alternative to vasectomy"! Women rejoice, (but beware the consequences).

Holograms, Rocketpacks, and Homes in the Sky.

Alternative Future Outlook:

Nudity, Horseheads, and Shroomery.

What a Slow Day

Well, Huckabee broke through at the Kansas caucus, and the U.S. newspapers are full of stories about presidential nonsense, Iraq, and the border wars (or as I call it: Operation Mexicano). Basically, this is the same shit that has been plaguing our news for about a year, good to see that not much has changed. Technically the war in Iraq, and even the border issue to some extent, have been going on since the nineties.
The point? The news is in re-runs.
That was until I read this headline coming out of Australia: "Man hid wife in drum for 23 years." No joke.
Frederick Boyle, aged fifty-eight, hid his wife's body in a drum (imagine oil drum) for more than two decades. Supposedly, (this is Mr. Boyle's story) he found his wife at home with two bullets in her head and one of his neckties wrapped tightly around her throat. So, of course, he is startled and while in this state of distress decides to honor his wife by stuffing her in a large metal drum. Seems reasonable to me, after all he was only in his mid-thirties.

Oh yeah, by the by, London is on fire, uncontrollably on fire. We'll see how that pans out.

Well, like I said it's been an uneventful day.



And, don't remember stay tuned for my new project:
Starting the presidential campaign for Angelina Jolie in twenty-sixteen. That's right, America's first nude candidate, or as I like to say: The first politician with nothing to hide.

Boy am I Behind the Times

I just saw this on You Tube; it's amazing. That's all you get to know, just go watch it. Unless, you've seen it already.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

You know, I'm leaving this up in a fit of anger, but apparently those bastards have taken the video off You Tube. Bastards.

A Quadzillion Fun Moneys Dollars Bills

Many of you out in internet-land have (because there are a lot of you, I believe this is a safe statement) probably saw an article on Bush's proposed push for a THREE TRILLION DOLLAR budget. Of course, the largest chunks of money, apx. 500 billion dollars, are going towards the defense budget (I have read that the border defense will be included in that figure). This, of course, is not the reason I am posting.
I am posting because (again, I make the assumption) that like many of you I don't really care. THREE TRILLION DOLLARS seems an unimaginable figure to someone who barely makes 10 grand a year. Where the money comes from might as well be (and probably is) from a magical-printing-press-land where 'cherry chopping' George Washington and 'Honest' Abe Lincoln dance around a mystical pyre singing the song that keeps world economics plugging along. There are unicorns and flying orangutans that smack their red asses while their wings beat, as well as, all your dead pets who watch the money pour from the ether and into the vast governmental vaults. If you were curious, those are the vaults in which Scrooge McDuck goes swimming.
Here's where I get angry.
Of all of this money, this ENORMOUS deficit, the proposed savings (the savings that net us precious tax cuts) are coming from slowing the growth of medicaid. I understand I don't need to repeat that so I'll say this: We are so interested in killing people that we are even willing to kill some of our own citizens by decreasing the growth of health care, and therefore are able to spend more money killing people we don't know. Ladies and Gentlemen, if there was ever a time to be appalled it was probably some other time, because now disbelief has set in.